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Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Patience is a Prime virtue and I want to cultivate it.
I don't have patience. Patience with my job, patience at the restaurant, patience at the platform, patience for the television commercial to end (channel-changing, not surfing) is my hobby! I want to cultivate pateince.

Zaheer, my room-partner in Bangalore last year, taught me a lot about patience. I learnt to wait at the bus-stop from him, otherwise, I've taken walks in Pune, instead of waiting for the bus, that was when I didn't have a bike. I haven't used public transport in Pune for the last five years. Last year, when I was in Bangalore for six months, I used to travel by bus.
I'm plannning to move to Bangalore (am I really, no, I'm not, I'm thinking of planning...). I want to work in Bangalore, once again.

I'm happy in Hyderabad (my mood keeps on changing, depending on the traffic at Begumpet and what is cooked for dinner at home :-)).
There are some cities where you feel happy. I didn't have a good job in Bangalore (ok, atleast, I didn't like it), I was all alone, times were tough - I was down with an injury for three weeks with no one to take care of and I didn't have a job at that time, I lost a lot of weight.
Here in Hyderabad, I've a good job, the pay is decent, I'm staying at home (with my brother). I get dinner at home, that is, eat outside only once, I have my bike, I have the money and I'm working in regular shifts, with the weekend off, so this is definitely better, still, my opinion is I like Bangalore, I want to go to Bangalore.

And, the whole analysis points to one thing. Do I really want to do this? Do I want to stagnate for a few more months or for a year because I want the money at the end of the month in my bank account, because my parents want me to get married, because I 'need'to settle down! Or should I do what I feel like doing? How many times have I asked this question to myself!

The pragmatic answer to my question is I should stick to this job. If I stay here for three months and if the project works out well, I'll be a manager.
My heart says, I'll get a 25% raise, my designation will change, what will I learn?

I feel like taking a month off, taking a few days off from work and then joining a class for the courses that I want to learn or else find information about them and learn on my own.

Again, it's a question of studying for what? You study to get a job (leave knowledge aside). I already have a job. Another point, The work that I want to do, somewhere else, requires a certain expertise and if I haven't had a chance to learn or use those tools then how will I get in there?

This is too much of unnecessary thinking.

The best way is go to the company that I want to work for, give my CV, and say, "I want to work here" and take it forward from there.
The answer would be yes (good for me), no (chance to learn), wait (who cares).

Now, I've got to decide! It's my life!

Before that, it's time for some Humour, after a lot of thinking.

This Saturday, I've to go to Kachiguda station at 04:30 a.m.
Confirm and then book Dadi's tickets for the 8th of June. I need to go with her to Pune. 8th June is Tuesday.
Confirm with Achal, whether he has paid the water supplier.
I want to watch 'Windtalkers' on Star Movies next month. I like war movies.
'Strings' song.