<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d6418452\x26blogName\x3dFootsteps+on+Clouds\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://chirayu.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://chirayu.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d7754879049997020549', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Web copy - Usage - Thoughts

Category: Professional

I am trying different approaches in writing a paragraph that introduces a company.

Four lines that show what we do and how it helps our clients.

Draft One:

We conceive, design, develop, implement, and (deploy or deliver) customized xyzee solutions that simplify web-based and computer-based training for organizations.

The use of verbs:
conceive: gestate, think of an idea (should I use this verb, conceive)
design: give form to that idea
implement: follow the purpose of design
deploy: perform a remote installation
deliver: make ready for delivery
customized: should I use custom? -> made as per client specs.
simplify: make easier -> or should I use another verb? -> improve the productivity of?

If you deploy something can you deliver it? No. So one verb, either deploy or deliver. No, we don't perform a remote installation, so we don't deploy.

Draft Two:

We are a young, vibrant, and dynamic (are two or more adjectives required or is this line required at all, or young, vibrant, dynamic -> what does it have to do with the work we do?) xyzee solutions and abc creation start-up based out of (based in) Pune, India. We design and deliver custom (customized) xyzee solutions.
---