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Friday, November 05, 2004

Personal: On Blogging and the word 'domineering'

Category: Personal

From now onwards, I'm only going to blog about search engines and poetry. And, sometimes about cricket, if India plays well.

So all you people out there who get a 'vicarious' pleasure in reading about my life's ups and downs (vicissitudes is the right word, but it's very difficult, and always use an easy word instead of a difficult one), would not be able to do so. Cool adjective this, 'vicarious' isn't it.

Similarly, 'to domineer' is a verb, and the word domineering comes from that. It is such a harsh word. It means exercising overbearing control. Someone from US, without meeting me IRL (in real life) used that for me.

I'm a domineering person and am disrespectful towards co-workers.
What a big sweeping statement.
I felt bad. I really felt bad.

I had decided not to write about this. But I have to write, to get those emotions out. It really hurt.

A domineering person doesn't go half-way round the city to get a special cake because one of his co-workers has a fast, doesn't run downstairs to get a packet of fruit salt because someone isn't feeling well, doesn't go to the other end of the city to drop one of his co-workers home because it's late, doesn't drive slowly because someone's baby is sleeping, doesn't bring chocolates because someone expressed a wish for them, doesn't say Hi to almost each and everyone on the floor, and Shilpa, Neeta, Suman, Sonia, Mohan, and Ashish would second that.

And, I'm a domineering person. Such a big sweeping statement, without meeting me IRL (in real life).

I'm disrespectful towards co-workers.

I Cannot take this. I cannot. I don't even say, Haan, I always say, Haanji, the politest form of Yes in Hindi, to even the security staff and the office boys, let alone co-workers, and because someone from far-away feels I'm disrespectful towards co-workers, I have to be.

Mohan said this to me on my 2nd day in office. "Chirayu, I like your nature. You're open and friendly. You have knowledge and you don't mind sharing it."

And, I'm disrespectful towards co-workers because someone from far-away without meeting me IRL (in real life), on the basis of conference calls for five weeks, says so.

It takes a lifetime, and even that isn't enough to know a person, and they sent across these damning comments about me. And the company, believing in the maxim, the client is always right, without asking for my opinion, ordered me to resign.

(I'm going to make paper rockets out of all these damning comments, and fly them against a strong cross-wind).

It would have been better if they would have told me, "We don't like your work, and would like you to resign." And, I'd have done that. But, showing all these damning comments. Domineering and disrespectful. Such harsh words. Not one person among my friends, co-workers, or for that matter ex co-workers from Bangalore, Hyderabad, and Secunderabad would second that.

And my manager didn't even meet me. I got a call, was told to meet the HR, and asked to resign. What was my manager doing? Couldn't he stick his neck out and say, this guy can be anything, but he can't be disrespectful.

Who is a good leader? A good leader is someone who stands by his team-mates.
(You don't need to go to Harvard Business School to learn leadership, whatever leadership one has to learn, or whatever I've learnt, I've learnt from the cricket field watching Steve Waugh captain).

Maybe for them those were just two words, domineering and disrespectful and just another day in life.

This has been one bad experience for me.

And, if at some point of time in life, I do meet them (the people who made these remarks), in US or India, they'd know... how wrong they were.

Call me anything, call me a bad writer, a million times over, and I won't mind.
I suck at writing, I'm no good, and fire me. I won't mind.
But, I can't take disrespectful. I cannot. Sorry!

I won't be writing personal posts for sometime now. I'll write more about search, poetry, books, cricket, and the places I visit.

Cheers
Chirayu