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Saturday, December 04, 2004

Thoughts

Category: Personal

No plans for the weekend. One should never plan. There are so many movies to watch, books to read, posts to write, poems to read and write, friends and relatives to call; however before all that I need to take a job.

I went for a meeting, I always call these HR sessions as meetings, and not interviews, because I end up talking more rather than them asking anything. They want me to join immdtly, however the work is as per EST 6 pm to 3 am IST and I guess, I've had my share of work in the night shift and I'm not too inclined on that, although the profile they are offerng is interesting. I'm too lazy to work in the night shift now. I want a day job, a regular 8 am to 8 pm job. I don't want to spoil my health working as per EST.

It's 1:45 a.m. and I don't feel like sleeping. I need a challenge. I want to do so many things, and I really don't know what the hell do I want to do with my life.

A leaf falls on loneliness - e.e. cummings
While a moment passes in eternity


I want to write a poem. I want to do search engine related work.
I am good at a lot of things, and I'm good at nothing.

To borrow an analogy from 'A Tale of Two Cities'

It is the best of times, I have everything before me.
It is the worst of times, I have nothing before me.

I need someone, or something to change my life.

Now for someone who considers The Fountainhead as one of his favourite books, "Don't I know what do I want to do with my life."

My problem is that I think a lot.

One should go to work, do what is told, and come back home. It is so easy, and somehow I haven't been able to do that. That's what 95% of the people do.

I have always thought about the work that I do.

All I want is to *feel happy* when I come back from work, and when will I find that. Is there a problem with my thinking or is *my thinking* itself a problem.

I'd asked this to one of my ex co-workers a couple of months back.
"I never used to think about being in Gambling," she'd answered.

While I thought about being in Gambling, a bad (or should I say worthless) industry, making Americans play poker, yes that's what I was doing for 4 months of my life last year, setting online poker games, doing calculations and refunding money in case of a technical glitch. And I hated each moment of that work. Was that a way of earning money? The others didn't think about it, and I guess, most of them are still there.

Even if all the poker and related web sites close, it won't matter to anyone except those who make their millions addicting people to gambling.
If one school shuts down, it does matter to the future of a nation.

An argument here would be, Life itself is a gamble, and for a risk-taker like me, I would vouch for that. Yes, I do. However, I don't feel gambling as an industry is required, as its sole purpose is to make unethical money. Now that's an arguable point. But, I'm entitled to my opinion, atleast on my blog.

Should I try for a SEO opportunity in gambling?
I know those guys are not on any of the leading search engines top 10 or even 20 rankings, and I know I can get them to the top 10, or even the first position, and a first position ranking for a generic keyword like poker can mean an exponential increase in business. What with 30/40 thousand plus players playing on their web sites at any point of time.
(An interesting point here would be, from an SEO perspective, to use blogs as a link generating medium, not the comments which are considered as spam, but the actual posts. A post on that separately).

But to go back to that industry, I guess, I will have to sell my soul to the devil.
Should I do that and earn a carload, alright make that a bikeload of money? I don't want to do that.

I want to be a schoolteacher, that's what I want to be. :-)
In an utopian world I would be a schoolteacher. I love kids.
I'll go on.
I need work that challenges and motivates me, and when will I find it?

Maybe, If I read this in the morning, I'd want to remove this post.

Off to sleep. Good night!

A note: I need a fast net connection. Got to register on elanceonline and start freelancing.