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Monday, May 10, 2004

It's 09:48 a.m. on a Monday morning in Secunderabad. It's sunny out here. I'm in office, typing this! Another day at work, or should I say, another day of routine. All our life is routine. I want to do something different. I want to do something with my life. This job is making me comfortably numb. So far, the money is good, for me! I have a regular 9 am to 7/8 pm job. Work for five days a week, two days of holidays and then the same cycle again. Wait till the end of the month for the salary, feel happy for sometime with the pay packet at the end of the month and then the same routine, Monday to Friday, morning to evening! Mujhe Change Chahiye!!! Any suggestions, any ideas, any thoughts, any advice for me?
People will say join a class, do some part-time work, learn something new, or else just be happy with what you have and enjoy life! Lekin...wohi to panga hai..I don't know how to enjoy life and the primary (that's too American, isn't it), the main reason is that I don't have any Company! Mere koi friends nahin hai.. in a way, everyone is my friend, I get along very well with most people, however, I don't have a friend or friends! People with whom I can spend time, hang out, or just talk!
Now, this is a very dull way of writing. The question here should be, "Why am I asking someone else for advice?" "Don't I know what do I want to do with my Life?" I do know.
I'm caught in a cycle which is making me very happy and easy! I think I need a change of city. I need to go to Bombay. Rush to work... rush back home... life Fast ho jaayegaa...lekin yahan pe acchha job hai...sort of aaraam ka zindagi hai... although, still it's a question of posting a few CVs and appearing for some tests/interviews to go to another job. I'll decide about it and yes, I'll write a post on that!

This is just random writing. I'm writing what I feel like.

If I had a Holiday today and the setting was perfect and then what would I have done today.

Or let's put it this way... what do I want to do!

I want to play cricket.
I want to take Sanchit on my bike for a ride!
I want to go to a fort. No, I want to go to Sinhagad fort and watch the calm water of Khadakwasla lake down below. Breeze blowing, the wind on my face, a summer afternoon with a slightly overcast sky, a few birds flying in the sky...
I want to go to Bottles & Chimney for an afternoon lunch! Anyone for Company!
I want to feel the sweat on my forehead, running down my cheeks.
I want my vest sweat-soaked.
I want to feel energetic. I want to do exercise. Either running or playing cricket.
I want do do some physical exercise.

I want to be with children. I am happiest when I'm with kids, teaching them, playing with them! I really feel haapy! Punit tells me, "Chirayu, you don't have any friends. Your best friend is Sanchit!" Sanchit is Badamikar Aunty's son. He is studying in Pune in the third standard!!! Whenever, I'm in Pune, I always take him for a ride, buy chocolates for him! I feel happy!

I've thought about this. I'm happiest when I'm making others happy! Whether it's giving chocolates to Ganga & Ramesh at the Peddammagudi Temple on Jubilee Hills or going for a bike ride with Sanchit in Pune or giving fruits to Arshad. The smile on their face makes me happy!

The best profession for me would be Teaching Children and I know that. I can be a very good teacher. I'm very good at explianing things to people. I can explain in a simple way with easy to understand examples, and I'll be very good at teaching! This is what I want to do! However, teaching diesn't pay! It does,
in the long run.

The plan here for me should be to take some Times of India organised NIE (Newspaper in Education) classes or else take a part-time teaching assignments like coaching classes, MBA Entrance classes. I might think about that. I already have an offer for that.

Still, every evening, I feel like going home, going to Pune. Take a job there.
Yeh, chal kya raha hai yaar! I need to straighten my thought process. Decide what I want to do and do it. If I want to leave this job and go to Pune then go, or else If I want to continue here and then find another job, either in Pune or Mumbai or Bangalore and then leave, then do that or else do nothing be happy with what I have and progress here and yes, there are lots of chances for me to progress here, provided I stick to this job, and that will be a big thing for me, If I do that.

Every day is long for me...time nahin jaata hai... I really need to do something!
It is up to me to do what I want. People can say, guide, advice, give their opinions. Ultimately, it's my life and I have to decide and at the same time, I've to see to it and alongwith my life so many other lives are joined, Mummy, Pappa, Punit, Achal and I don't have to make them sad or unhappy. Right now, everyone is happy, I've a good job, I'm earning well...so the case rests here.... not much achieved by writing so many paragraphs.

It's a way of putting my thoughts. Instead of keeping it to myself or not sharing it with anyone, I'm writing it down and making it public!
Enough for now. All these are random ramblings!
Hey, if any of your guys n'gals read this and can make something out of this and would like to share your views, you're most welcome! Back to work, for now!
Bye for now! Have a Nice Day and Have a Good week ahead! Cheers!
Chirayu